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Monthly Archives: May 2009

I have decided to fix my life in 3 easy steps.

Step 1: get rid of OHM. Done. I just need to file for divorce, but he is gone, out of my freaking life.

Step 2: Buy a new shiney, red car. Done. Last night. The coolest pontiac G3 in the joint. Not so bad for the payments. I can afford it and I just love the car.

Step 3: get a new freaking job. Still working on that one. It might take a while.

Ibthink you should be able to do anything in 3 easy steps. Hopefully this will be good for me.

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So I have to drive through austell ga to get home everyday. Sometimes on Fridays I have to pick up pumpkin. Today was one of those days. We usually go out to dinner when I get him. Well he wanted macdonald’s today. While we were sitting there 2 women came in and got dinner. They worked at burger king and still had their uniforms
on.
Only in austell. Everytime we go out there is something crazy and random. You would think this would happen in paudling county, no austell.

I feel defeated. Defeated in everything. Life. Work. Everything.

What to do now?

How do you fix your life? Where do you start? I think I should start with a new job. I just hate to look for one and it is really hard to find one right now. Boo! I guess I will begin tonight.

And then maybe just the divorce. My soon to be ex-husband informed me today that he does not have money to pay for a lawyer and therefore the divorce. I guess it is all on me.

I just don’t know where to start.

image577457929.jpgI finally made the invitations. They look great. I still need to write on them, but they are done.

It was very easy. I bought some cards from the craft store and then painted bubbles on them with blue paint diluted with water. I then took a bubble wand and dipped it in red paint and stamped of on the cards. Then I took yellow paint and drew a #2 in the center of the bubbles.

I tried to pit some paint in the bubbles and blow them on the cards that did not work. Of looked good but was not what I was looking for.

I think I will get a white table cloth and paint bubbles on it. And then get some little bubble things and balloons and the party is done.

I need to say goodbye to all the crap in my life that I don’t like. I need to say goodbye to OHM, my soon to be ex-husband. I need to say goodbye to the crappy place that I work at, but I must get a new job first. I need to say goodbye to the depression that has been plaguing me for a while. I have always masked it well. I need to say goodbye to this life that is not what I want it to be.

What do I want my life to be is now the question? I want to be somewhere fun, different. I want pumpkin to be happy, well taken care of and loved more then anything in the world.

I want a job with a better company. One that is not full of *ssholes and watches out for their employees and takes care of their employees. I want to not work with all women. They can be freakin’ b*tches.

I want a life in NYC. I have gone back and forth for several months now on this, but when I was looking at jobs in my field there were 500 in NYC and 20 in ATL. I think I should move.  I hate doing hard stuff. I hate the stupid decision I have made in my life.

No more stupid decisions. No more f*ck ups. Only positive things that will help me in the long run and make me a better person. No more people in my life who aren’t good.

So yesterday, me and OHM really got into it. He is such an *ss.  He was going on and on about how everything is my fault. You know, I have tried and tried to make it work and you f*cker have done nothing. You have always done whatever you want to do and you have always been an *ss to me. You ignore me most of the time and you do not help financially, ever though you think you do. In  2 years I have gotten maybe $5000 from you to help with the bills and pumpkin. I added it up the other and for just pumpkin, it should have been about $15,000. YOU ARE A DEADBEAT FATHER!!!!

I don’t understand how everything can be my fault. Yes I do get bitchy with you, but that seems to be the only way to get you to do what I need you to do. If I ask you to come and watch pumpkin, you show up when it is convenient for you. You have no respect for others. You live in your own little world where everything is about you and guess what the world does not revolve around you. IT REVOLVES AROUND PUMPKIN! For god’s sake you showed up 2 hours late to his 1st birthday party because the time was inconvenient for you. He was so freaking fussy when you finally got there. Guess what you are not invited to his 2nd birthday party, but your family is.

It is done, over and I want him out of my life, but I feel bad in some ways. He can not support himself nor can he take care of himself. I looked up divorces and an uncontested in GA is only $795, but we need to have an agreement on pumpkin. This will be a problem.

He was to go to INS today and he did. I did not. I really feel bad about that but you know he has done nothing for me and I have done everything for him. It is time for me to get rid of him. I do hope he will go away. I need him gone. I am tired of supporting him and myself and pumpkin. I need to take care of me and pumpkin. He needs to take care of himself.

I will be okay as long as he goes away. Stupid freaking jack*ss.