the boys are back in town.

So the new girls I work with have done pissed me off. I need to go to the interview for OHM. Bullsh*t. I don’t. That man has done nothing ,nothing for me but ruin my life. And they go on and on about how my child needs a man in his life. No he does not. I was raised basically without my father and so were my brothers and we were just fine. If you think your child needs a man in his life then you are freakin’ projecting and you need a man in your life. Stop f*ckin’ telling me that. I don’t want a man in my life, I want my son and regular sex with a fantastic boy toy(please note this should be an adult male who is very well endowed). That is all I need.
So he has called OHM that is and I do need to go to court with him on next Tuesday. And OHM sounded sad when he called like I wouldn’t go or like he is worried he may actually be deported. That is not going to happen. I will not let that happen. I don’t want to the do the INS interview because I am not really married to him anymore and I don’t think I should do it. I am not going to lie to the US government or myself. I don’t want him anymore, but I don’t want him to leave. He may drive me nuts most of the time, but all of this is for Pumps. I don’t want my son raised without his father. I want him to see what he is missing by being the way that he is. I want Pumps to see what his father actually is. I hope that by the time Pumps is old enough, OHM will have become the man that he is capable of being, but I know that is not going to happen. He has always wanted the single life with a girl who will stay at home and raise the family and say nothing about what he does all the time. That is not a marriage or a life anyone I know would put up with. And I know I put up with it for way too long and know there are complications.

Actually OHM has not been that bad, he was over all weekend and him and Pumps hung out. They seemed to have a good time. It just makes me sad that I have all these memories of Pumps and he doesn’t… the first step, the first word, the first standing up peepee and so forth. OHM only hears about these thing from me, I know he gets to see it for the first time, but it is usually old news by that time and Pumps has moved on to something else. I know he will have a lot of regrets in his life. I know that we will be one of them. 

[later]

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