So a new year has begun, and I feel that the same old shit is going on.
I need to make some changes. MMM read my cards on Saturday and I have been a wallflower in the past, I was good at letting OHM go (a good person) and I will have a confrontation coming up in the future. Overall I thought the cards were pretty dead on, but then again, do I really believe in that shit?
So the question is, what changes should I make? Save more money, lose more weight, date, quit smoking, get a new job, move, etc??? Maybe all of it. But how do you begin changing everything and not overloading your system. Do I need goals? I kinda have had a goal of moving by October since last October. Maybe that is the one thing I need to do and accomplish in this New Year. I really feel like I need to get Goose away from OHM and Nana (really I need to get away from Nana). You know last week I had a patient would was talking about how it was sad that grown children are living with their parents and not doing anything to support themselves. Maybe that is me. I kinda felt like shit about it, but I support me and Goose. I may not pay rent, but I pay all my bills (car, insurance, cell, daycare, etc). I make sure that Goose is clothed and feed and happy and has toys and whatever else he wants and needs. I support my child to the best of my ability and if OHM was not such a douche bag, we would not be living with Nana. But unfortunately that is how it worked out.
Also within the past 2 years that I have been at Nana’s I have nothing in savings and all my money seems to good as soon as it comes in. You know me and MMM talked about being broke all the time and I decided that maybe we are just to be broke, maybe everyone is and that is just life. It kinda sucks and I need to figure out how I can get away from being broke. Where can I cut the bills expenses? It is just so much taking care of a child. He is totally worth it.
So that leads me to what is next in my life? I ponder this question often because I don’t know what is coming up and where I want to go in my life. I did decide that I want to retire by the age of 55 and I need at least 1 million to do that, si now I just need figure out how I will get my million in 23 years. I need to get my retirement up and running strong. That can be a goal of mine this year.
That’s what I need to do, set goals and work on achieving them. Goals, you know I hate this shit I like to float on through life and see what is going to happen. I don’t like to make plans, it is not in me. I am a Sagittarius and we are known procrastinators. And that is one thing I love about me.
So NYE was uneventful, sorry scratch that, LM totally kissed a gremlin and I have a pic. They seemed to argue all night and I was a little tired of it. It is sad that I have no real other friends and I have to kinda put up with them. I mean I don’t have to put up with them I just do because I don’t seem to have any one else. I just need to make some new friends.
One NYD we did go roller skating and I will probably not be joining the roller derby like I want to. Maybe I just need to practice. I just don’t really want to break anything and I was never a good skater in my younger days. MMM is totally going to be in the roller derby. We shall see about me and LM.
Sorry this is not the best entry I have had, but I am just tring to figure who I am. I guess it is about damn time, I mean I am 32 and have a 3 year old. One day I think I will know and I thing that will be this year. I am so tired of bullshit and just being. I need to make a stand and be whom I really want to be. Just what is that?