So I have been missing from the world of this here blog. I have been busy with my new puppy and my little goose and such. It seems the crafting has also taken a beating.

I did manage to kick my butt into gear yesterday evening and I completed 2 potholders, so now I have presents done for 2 people. I also began on the next set of potholders.

I think part of the problem has been that I want everyone to hae different potholders, so i keep making different ones. I might need to just pick one design and go from there. Hmm… alot to think about? I think i might just finish what I have started… hmmm….

So today, Oct 4th is the 8 year anniversary of my father’s death. Yes he did on this day 8 years ago. Last week I was being a uber bitch and could not figure out what was going on. It was like I was PMSing or something. Then that night, in bed I realized what was coming up and I cried for a good hour. It seems I miss my dad alot this year.

So since I have been thinking of good memories of him and the one that pops up in my head the most is when I would come over to the house (I did not currently live there), my dad would always be in his office working, which happened to be in the basement. He would always yell upstairs, “who’s that?” And I would always reply, “me”. He would then go “who is me?” And would have to state my complete name and relation to him, so I would yell downstairs ” your daughter, Jennifer Anne Kane” He would finally say Hi.

I am not sure why that memory has been in my head so much this week, but it has and it always makes me smile. I think is just sums up my dad and how crazy he actually was.

Since today is the anniversary of his death and he happen to die from cancer stomach, esophageal probably from smoking for 30 something years, I actually have quit smoking today. So far it has not been too bad. I have had 2 pieces of nicorette gum and a lozenge since I got up at 530am.

I have quit before, right after he died for about 6 months and a few other times for a bit here and there, but I always seem to come back to smoking. Right now I have smoked since the age of 15 and that make 17 years of smoking.  It just seems to long to be doing something so stupid.

I have decided it will be hard, but goose is the one person who wants me to quit the most. he is only 4 and gives me a hard time about smoking. I told him I may be grumpy for a minute, but I will quit. I completely spoil that child rotten and he always get what he wants, so now he gets a smoke free mom.

I think this all cam about because a few weeks ago, I decided I was a mess again and I need to get my shit together. Not really sure what is mess in my life, but I kinda feel like everything is. So I need to make some changes. Change 1: quit smoking. Change 2: not sure. I guess I only got as far as change 1. I think I need to work on this.

…. later


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