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Monthly Archives: December 2011

I have been neglecting my life lately, it seems. I really dislike the holiday season and I am so happy it is almost over, only one more holiday to go, New Years Eve.

New Years Eve is always a disappointment for me. I think in my head I have that it will some crazy, beautiful, amazing night in which life is perfect and surreal. But in reality, it is just a drunken or not drunken night at a random bar with friends. It is completely unepic and lame.

So last year MMM stated that you should really spend New Years Eve with people you truly love and want to spend the next year with. So this year, I am going to be at home and really looking forward to it. I am going to keep my little goose up to midnight. I am betting he will pass out by 10pm, but we are going to try.

So what  do you do for a kid New Years Eve party?

I need to get some noise makers and hats and such. I think I have some sparklers on top of the fridge, I’ll check when I get home.

 I think we will have some finger foods, ohh! maybe fondue, oh crap Mom is making a lasagna… not fondue, maybe I can convince her to change her plans tonight.

I think our neighbors were planning a bonfire that evening. And if so I will take the party over to their house. I know goose had alot of fun there on Christmas eve, but as always we shall see.

I need some champagne glasses and some sparkling non-alcoholic wine. That is what I always got as a kid.

 So hopefully all of this will be over soon and I can get back to life…

… later

 

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So no friday post last week. PS I am totally not good about remembering to do things.

And it has been Christmas. Super busy with present making, shopping, baking, and all the usual stuff. And goose has been home with me for the past 3 weeks, no trips to dad’s. So alone time I get is late at night and I really have been too tired to do much.

I hope everyone had a great christmas. I know that I did. I received some great and thoughtful gifts. I need to use my lovely new camera and get some pics. If I could just motivate myself in the evening to get the pics off the camera and actually get on my computer not this here phone.

So Christmas in the south was quite lovely. About 60F and a bit raining on Sunday. Christmas eve was great, cool, but not too bad. Me and goose delivered cookies to the neighbors on Saturday and ended up staying all evening. They had a bonfire going and goose had fun putting wood and leaves on the fire and playing with their dog cricket.

Our neighbor, Mr Bill got out his spot light and took goose down the street looking for Santa in the sky. I think they enjoyed having a little one around that believes in the big man in red.

It was a great night and goose completely passed out when it was over. He was so excited about Christmas this year. He wouldn’t leave the house because he was afraid he would miss Santa. It was all too funny.

Christmas day was quite nice. We were up at 730 and within 15 mins all presents were opened and scatter about the whole downstairs. Goose loved all his toys and really had fun playing with them. Mom kept saying to me that goose didn’t get too much and it did not take him long to open them all, but he just has so much and he didn’t need anything.

Now if I could just get motivated to clean out all his toys and organize them…

Motivation is such a dirty word for me. I just don’t have any of it. Maybe because I am so tired and there is just so much to do around now. Maybe in the new year, we shall see.

I do need to set up some goals for me in the coming year. I don’t do resolutions, I try to set goals. But in reality I am too much of a slacker to actually do anything. But I already have some goals in mind, one I set awhile ago and have not done anything about.

Goal #1. move move move. This goal actually means alot. It means I have to find a new job and get away from the south and get away from everything I currently know. Now driving home from work on Friday, I realized that I do not want to do my job anymore. Now don’t get me wrong I love my job and where I work, but I am tired of all the patients. I want someone else to deal with them. And with that statement… A new job… A new state… A new life…. #1 goal.

And I set this goal over a year ago when all the crap with OHM was going on. I realized then I needed to get goose away from that man and this place. I actually wanted to be gone by Oct 2011, but again slacker did not happen. I give myself 6 months, so by Jun 2012. Let’s see if I stick to it.

Goal #2. complete the book, the first craft/ project book. I have it just sitting on my shelf next to my desk, it is just waiting to be complete. Some patterns need to be written or fixed, and some projects completed or done. I believe there are only 30 projects in there, but mostly they need patterns.

I need to go through it and my yarn and get it all together. I have only 3 projects going right now and only 1 is from the first book, the notso baby blanket. #2 is a hat/ scarf for KMASD and I do not like how it is turning out. #3 is a pair of fingerless long gloves that are going to be too small for me. I have completed one, and yet to begin the other.

Again I just have no motivation for anything right now.

So I stated I was going to do a random post on Fridays and now Friday is over and I really got nothing.

Work has been crazy busy and I can’t seem to find the time to find more patients and I need more patients. Oh well! May be next week, my schedule looks light due the impending holiday.

Well life… Good busy crazy hectic you know the normal shit.

I turned 33 last thursday and I feel so much older… not. Oh how I love it.

I did receive my lovely birthday/ Christmas present for mom. A great new camera. Tomorrow I am going to try to upload some pics and do a post.

I have been working on a hat pattern and it is not working how I want it to and it’s a gift for KMASD so I need to really get it done.

I have already made one and I feel it is too small. Then I made another and it seems too big, but it was for me and I got a big ass head so all good.

I began another yesterday, but I am not happy with the stitching so I frogged some of it and I will work on it some more tomorrow. I need to look at my stitch books and try some things out. Maybe swatches tomorrow?? Hmm… I have to finish up the holiday baking… And I have the goose… We shall see.

… later

This post was suppose to be from last week…

So I had such a productive week in terms of current projects. I have completed all my current projects but 1. The notso granny set for KMASD and I am going to begin today. I completed a circa 1980 style friendship bracelet for this amazing 8 year old that I know. It took me a minute, but I remember how to do it. It is really just a series of knots. I need to figure out the string through, I did a double string and it worked nicely, but I don’t think that is how I did it when I was 8.

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It actually fits my wrist, so I hope it fits her.

I gave MMM her slippers and she loves them. They did turn out cute.

I went out with MMM on Saturday. It was just a late dinner but it was really good to see one of my best friends. We just sat and ate and drank beer and talked. When we go to the bar we don’t get to talk, it’s just too loud.

I find that life gets pretty boring and super busy the older you get. No good. I think we all need to take a moment relax and enjoy the good people in our lives. And now that it is the holiday season, it’s the prefect time to initiate that idea.

I shall discuss with everyone I know this weekend.

So all is currently a mess in my universe, but I think it shall be alright. My car went loco on me on Friday. The temperature gauge went all the way to high. I called the dealer and they couldn’t look at it to Monday, but I couldn’t drive it so it is there. As I pulled into the shop, the check engine light went on and it began to smoke.

The guy from the shop called me yesterday, they looked at it. I gave a cracked radiator and it needs replaced. Boo hiss! But on a good note they will only charge me $100 and I am pretty sure radiators cost alot more then that.

Now the car, it is a total lemon and by the time I am done paying for it, I will have a whole new engine. So far, I have had to fix the catalytic converter, the time belt tension pulley and the timing belt, and now the radiator. It seems about every 6 months it needs major work. I actually love the car and when I bought I was going to keep it forever. I think I might still since it will be a whole new engine in a few years anyway. Oh well!

I was so upset on Friday. I just hate having car trouble and I don’t really have money to get it fixed. You know that I why I bought a brand new car a couple of years ago, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it. I have calmed down and I have realized I can’t worry about it. It will always work out and be okay.

Mom is thinking about buying a new car and giving me hers. I am not so sure that is a good idea. I still owe alot on the car, but whatever she decided we’ll do. I just don’t want her to think he has to do this for me. I bought a lemon and I will deal with it.

… later

I have officially completed my Christmas cards. Now if I just had a decent pic of the goose and Stella Bean. I actually don’t think I shall ever make Christmas cards again. It was a total pain in the ass, but at last I must always make shit.
So I did a simple design. Baubles. I have been on a baubles kick ever since I made the ones for goose’s teachers. I just loved how they turned out and I think bauble is actually a British thing, not sure, I always thought they were just balls. Haha!
So I made them general. I send a few cards to some of OHM family and they are not Christian. That lead me to the baubles.
I actually bought cards and envelopes. I know, but I was not looking forward to making 30+ envelopes, that is alot of shit to do. I cut the cards is half as they were the folded kind and I like flat cards. I probably could have made them postcards, hmmm… maybe next year.
Then I cut out circles in all different colors of scrap book paper, well actually just pink, purple, green, and blue. There was some yellow and orange and black as well but mostly the former colors. I has more ribbon that matched those colors.
Then I cut ribbon for their hanging things.
I outlined each bauble with glitter and modge podged the cards. Fini and so cute!
Christmas cards 2011…

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I kinda a feel good being done with all my Christmas stuff by the first weekend of December. Now time to celebrate my birthday and then get the house ready for the holidays!

… later

So for the past year I have been meaning to make some slippers for MMM. At the end of last year and the beginning of this year, I made all the girls I work with bunny slippers. They were so super cute and I ended up having to rewrite the pattern because it was just wrong.

MMM and I decided not to do Christmas gifts due to the fact that we are completely broke all the time, but I told her I was making them because I have been meaning to all year, just seems other things have come up. Plus I had the yarn and all things I would need for them. No money spent, go me!

I need to remember to finish my projects list before I start on other projects… You know the list is about 100 projects long and it keeps growing. I think I got everything in ravelry and my new years resolution is to complete it in order… Moahhaa! (insert evil laugh). We will see if that happens.

Back to slippers, they will be chow slippers because MMM has a couple of chow dogs and loves them. They are made the same as the bunny slippers, but I changed the shape of the ears. When I had all the pieces made I thought they might look like cats, but oh well. I don’t know how else to make them into chows, but maybe add a tail.

I use loops and threads impeccable worsted yarn in black. About 1 skein was enough. And I used my handy dandy favorite I-9 hook. This hook seems to work best to make the slippers. If you go smaller the slippers will be smaller, but I think they look funny. Now MMM had the smallest feet of anyone I know so I really hope they fit.

Back to slippers, I use green buttons for the eyes just because I can.

The ears were made similar to the bunny ears, just shorter. I cut out a few rows. They turn in nicely like chow dog ears do. I was very happy with them.

Without much further ado… Chow slippers…

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They seem awfully small to me but I do have some big ass feet. MMM has little feet. She can actually wear children’s shoes so they should fit.

Not really sure how they got so small. I worked the pattern about 6 times before and the last pair I made were the correct size and they fit me. No worries though…

I haven’t put the nose on yet. Not really sure if I will. And they look kinda lime cats, but really how do you make chow dog slippers? They are supercute!

So a few weeks ago, I went to see a coworker at her desk. She was not there, but I sat at her seat and looked around for something to write her a note with. My eyes fell upon a piece of paper with a list of all our research departments salaries. This was not for me to look at, but I spied it and glanced. I did not see what everyone makes, but I saw enough to get extremely pissed. I always thought I was underpaid and it is confirmed. Now I don’t remember the exact amounts or who they were, but I know it wasn’t me. Because it was significantly higher then my salary.

Well I got pissed. Not to gloat or anything but I am probably one of the best damn coordinators in my office. I have been carrying the most patients and studies for the last 2 years. And I make a lower amount then these other people that SUCKS SWEATY BALLS!

Side note I do have very fowl language I have been mild lately, so if this shocks you stop reading sorry!

I looked for another job. I found a few working for a big pharma company and I sent my resume. Yesterday I received an email for a phone screen. Now chances of me getting the job are slim, but one can dream. And it is where I want to end up. Downside job is not in Atlanta. Upside salary is double what I currently make.

Now I have been working in the amazing field of clinical research for the past 5 years and I truly love it. I began as a research assistant at a site that did major mental disorder research- you know bipolar, schizophrenia, depression and anxiety. As a psychology major in college, I thought this is it I love crazy people. And I do love crazy people. Well there I was made into a study coordinator, then an assistant clinical operations manager. I didn’t like the later position. It was a hard time in my life personally and I didn’t feel it was right for me. So i stepped down and within a few months left the company. Plus I really despised the people I was working for. They were not good crazy people.

Then I was offered my current job here as a clinical research coordinator. I love what I do, but this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life. And I am underpaid and have realized I will always be underpaid if I work at research sites. And I had confirmation of that a few weeks ago.

I am now ready to leave. Now is as good as ever. You know my company is merging with a major hospital in the Atlanta area and our research department is going to the hospital. I have been granteed a a job, but I am still worried I will not have one come the end of the year. This is why that piece of paper was at my coworkers desk. She has been preparing all the documents for the merge.

So today at lunch, we had Chinese food and this was my fortune…

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This means a few things to me. I always struggle to have money, so will the struggle stop? Will things just get right? Or will I receive a new job with alot more money? I am currently hoping for the later, but we shall see.

Ps I haven’t heard anything about a phone screen with the big pharma company, but I have looked some more and there are more jobs out there. Not any in Atlanta though. I guess I might just have to move…

One thing down on my list of things to do before I turn 40. Move. I believe it was also something I needed to do when all the craziness surrounding my lovely ex OHM was going on. I wanted to get my son away from him. Now it will be hard for Goose, but I think we will survive.

Now I do have list of places I want to move. 1. Boston, not sure why. I have just always wanted to live there 2. Portland, Maine or Oregon. Actually don’t care which one. Probably Oregon if I had to chose because it is such a hippy city and I am such a hippy. 3. Dublin, Ireland. Going overseas would be the hardest, but for goose to say he grew up in Ireland would be awesome. 4. New York city, and I know there is no way I could afford to live in manhattan, but I do love that city. And there is a few other places, but those are the true ones. Those are the places my heart belongs.

So now, how does one move to another city? How does one relocate their whole life and just start over somewhere new? Especially if one is not a people person? Hmmm… questions and things to be figured out…