So I think the last time I was here was back in August. Sorry for the absence, but it seems that life is just getting to me.
I had started a new job in April and it has just been hell. I now know that the grass is not always greener on the other side and I am so okay with that. I believe it was a few months ago when I decided that my job is just sucking the life out of me. Yes sucking the life right out of me. I work 8-430ish everyday. I sit in 1 and a half hours of traffic one way every day. I have been spending less time with my awesome child and no time crafting or thinking or writing or reading or anything that I truly enjoy doing. I am tried all the time. I can’t do anything… it is sucking the life right out of me. I have a hard time playing and interacting with my child. I think of all the things that is the most important.
Now you would think that my job is just like any other CRC job out there, but I have an idiot for a boss and PI that calls in all the time and can’t do shit and co-workers that do nothing but complain and suck major balls (well only one complains, the other one has become my friend and is just fine, another one completely sucks major balls- she can’t do her job for shit, and the rest are ok). I figured out within a week of being at this clinic that I know more about research then my boss and I have no respect for her at all. Our lab tech (the one that sucks major balls) fucked something up a couple of months ago. I told my boss, because it was a major fuck up and needed to be addressed by the manager I was told not the throw people under the bus and I was throwing her under the bus. REALLY, REALLY, SHE CAN NOT DO HER JOB!!!!
I am getting myself upset…. breathe, breathe…. 2 more days.
I am leaving the hell job and going back to my old company. I will continue to be a clinical Research Coordinator, but I know what is expected of me and were I can go with my career. I can’t wait to get away from this place and get my life back together. Such a great way to start the new year.
Ahh! the New Year. So it seems the world did not end in 2012 as the Mayans predicted. Bad Mayans you should know what you are talking about. Good for us. So in this year I want to improve on myself (I know I am completely fabulous, but I think there is always room for improvement). I want work on the list of thing to do before I turn 40. I am now 34 and haven’t done crapola. What was on the list? Why it was …
1. Run a marathon- considering that I think I have gained about 20 pounds in the last 3 months which makes me now super huge, this probably the biggest goal. I am severely overweight and out of shape and smoke like a chimney, but at last I want one of those 26.2 stickers on my damn car. So plan- get better- no eating out that much, no junk food, no snacking all the time and exercise… lots and lots of exercising. Oh and of course quitting smoking.
2. buy a house- well Mom decided that she did not want to move and she wanted to pay off her house… so we are staying put. I think in about a year or so I might buy a beach house, but I need a down payment and I tend to shop alot.
3. Go to Rome, Italy. I am going to go for my 40th birthday, so I have about 6 years to prepare and save for the trip. I think my and goose will go, so we may do a tour. He’ll actually be about 12 years old then, so hopefully he enjoy it. I want 2 weeks in italy at least one week in Rome. I want to lie on the floor of the Sistine Chapel and gaze at the beautiful ceiling.
4. (just added for your information) I want to get my master’s degree. I want either a MPH or MPA. I am not sure which one would help me the most in research, probably the MPH. So I now need to take the GRE and apply for grad school. Yesterday I purchase a GRE prep book and was looking through it and they no longer have the analogies and antonyms sections I did so horrible in them, I AM SO FREAKIN HAPPY!!! I DON’T HAVE TO DO THAT SHIT! I did so good on the old GRE analytical section many years ago. I also did well on the math. Not I will have to do all that and write an essay. I have this in the bag. I can write of course…. you should be able to see that.
And that’s all. Not too much, but still alot of things. So this year I want to begin to working on all of these things. I am a slacker at heart and I just wait and wait, but can’t. I think I need to just take my life in my hands and push forward. I am the only one who is going to make it happen. So how do I do this…
I have no idea. I need to make a schedule for the exercise thing. I think I am going to try to cut out carbs and sugar from my diet. I need a total overhaul on how I eat. I need to save more money. I have spent the last few months thinking about my finances and where they are going and I am happy to report that I am not broke all the time and I pretty much purchase whatever I want. The purchasing what I want needs to stop… I now want money in the bank, a trip to Texas in the spring, a week at the beach in the summer and few weekend trips here and there with my goose. AKA I now am ready to travel…
So in this new year… I plan to save about $4000 dollars and travel a bit. I plan to begin to lose weight and get healthy. I want to quit smoking in February. Right now that gives me 2 weeks to begin to cut back and quit. I think I will use gum or something. I know that I can’t do it cold turkey. That also gives me 2 weeks to get my diet in place. I will watch what I eat and exercise during the quitting smoking, but quitting smoking is really the main thing if I gain I gain. I think that the exercising will help the not smoking. I think I need a couch to 5k program. I’ll look that up.
(Side note I began writing this about 2 weeks ago and have just been unable to finish. I finished today. I am done with my old company and have been back with my old old company for 1 week. Everyone was surprised and happy to see me. I felt like home and I am not allowed to ever leave again. I will retire from this company, hopefully. I want to get back to being me. I had lost myself in the past and had to work hard to get back to where I was. I noticed this weekend that I have been very angry, very angry at everything and that is not me and I do not like it. I have calmed down… I did somethings around the house… fixed a curtain rod, touch up some paint and cleaned up my room a bit. I feel better and feel like I can clear my head now. And here I am clearing my head. I also have not been crafting or anything of that matter. I have read a few books, but was not really that in to them. I have made a few things, but not that happy with them. I need to get back on track…)